How to be a good parent

Many people want to know how to be a good parent. Some spend years searching for the answer, but we have found it in two months. What can I say, we are overachievers.

Here is a little guideline for those of you who are not in the know.

               

    Do: Give your children tummy time               Don't: Keep them up too late

                   

Do: Take your children                       Don't: Let them watch too much tv

                    to church                                                     

                     

Do: Bathe your children                               Don't: Teach them to be 

                                                                     socially awkward

                              

       Do: Teach them to do chores                       Don't: Let them eat whatever

                                                                       they want

                    

Do: Take your children on walks                           Don't: Forget to put on 

                                                                            their socks

                   

Do: Immunize your children                      Don't: Forget to dress them

 (don't argue with me on this one, I'm right)

Do: Indoctrinate your children at a young age

(Go Broncos)

Polar Plunge

Last weekend, some of Ben's coworkers participated in a fund raising activity called the Polar Plunge.

Somehow, I haven't figured out quite how, jumping in freezing water makes people want to give you money.  Dozens, if not hundreds, of people jumped into Detroit River on Saturday morning. Ice had to be chipped away, paramedics were on standby, and a few fully equipped scuba divers were poised and ready to jump in.

Now, I know people do this all the time. And most people do it for free and without any real supervision. Even Ben has done it. I guess it's my distaste for cold combined with my fear of water that makes me say, "no thanks."

We did have fun watching though. The event was just down the street from our house, so we walked there and supported KPMG and all the other cold water enthusiasts. There is something satisfying about watching people shiver uncontrollably from the comfort of a dry, downy coat with faux fur lining. Similar to eating junk food and lounging on the couch while watching a sporting event.

I love my job

And to think, some people would rather sit at a desk.

Riverwalking

Living in Detroit has its advantages as well as its disadvantages. There aren't decent grocery stores nearby and it's not very walkable. But there are some pretty sweet activities and restaurants, and the Eastern Market is only the best farmer's market this side of anywhere.

Having just had a baby, in the middle of winter, I've found it important to make sure I get out of the house every so often. However, it's been hard to do this without driving for 20 minutes to find a place where I'm comfortable walking around. Then, this past week, I found a little gem tucked away minutes from our apartment.

The Detroit Riverwalk. Right on the Detroit River (go figure), so the whole time you get a nice view of Canada and downtown Detroit. It's surprisingly safe too--there are those "Emergency button" stations every few yards and I even saw a patrol car driving around. Walking with just my baby, I felt perfectly safe and actually quite comfortable. Finally, a pleasant place to spend time outside.

Unfortunately, the day after I discovered the Riverwalk, the temperature dropped far below freezing. But I highly suggest taking a stroll on this bad boy any day the weather will allow.

Bless you

Yep, Henry had his blessing last week. He did quite fabulous--he got all of his fussing out on the car ride to church. We are very unprepared parents. We did not get him a blessing outfit (not that he would have fit in any we could buy) and we did not get a family picture. That's the one thing I wish we had done. But he looked so nice in a white shirt and bow tie.

(In case you can't tell, this was right about nap time)

Ben's mom flew out for the weekend, and she stayed at our house. This was the first time Henry got to meet Grandma Linda. My family was supposed to drive up too, but because of a mix-up (their fault, not ours, and don't let them tell you otherwise) that didn't work out. But my dad surprised us and flew up here Friday night. Henry showed his excitement by bungee jumping. Not my favorite thing, but he doesn't seem to mind.

In other Henry-related news, he had his 2 month appointment this week. His current measurements are:

Weight: 15 lbs 8 oz
Height: 24 1/2 inches

According to the doctor, this means he is the size of an average 5 month old. I did the math, and at this rate, by the time he is 18 he will be 22 feet tall.

Traffic Hazards

The following is a guide to surviving Detroit traffic.

1. The Mystery Lane: The far right lane of every street. Avoid driving in this lane, because certain cars have the power to make it disappear without any warning and turn it into parking spaces. No one knows who these cars are or when they will appear.
Also, use caution when driving in the lane next to the Mystery Lane. If another car is driving in the Mystery Lane, when they approach the parked cars they will move into your lane without signaling or looking to see if you are in their way. Honking will just aggravate them and cause them to move over with more determination.

2. Intersections A: Seasoned drivers know that at intersections, there is a white line that marks where cars should stop at a red light or stop sign. When driving in Detroit, consider these lines mere suggestions. Feel free to stop 100 feet in front of the line or in the middle of the intersection. The only important thing is if you stop, not where.


3. Pedestrians: While crossing streets, avoid crosswalks at all costs.  Even if this means crossing mere yards from the crosswalk, weaving in and out of cars stopped at lights, and waiting in the suicide lane for cars to speed by before completing your journey to the other side. It helps if you do this while wearing dark clothes at night.

4. Snow: If it has snowed in the past week, proceed with caution. Even if it is 40 degrees and the snow has completely melted. Do not exceed 15 mph until there is not a spot of water on the roads. Then resume excessive speeding and tailing.

5. Lanes: Feel free to drift into other lanes or drive in two lanes at once. Take up as much space as you need. Others will get out of your way or suffer the consequences.

6. Intersections B: On busier streets, the rule in Detroit is the more confusing, the better. Sometimes, left turns are just not allowed. It is better to turn right and then make a U-turn, even if this means waiting at 3 lights instead of 1. When a left turn is allowed, one realizes why Michigan generally avoids left turns.  Refer to the included visual aid.

When making a left turn, follow the direction of the yellow arrows when your light turns green. Green lights in Detroit mean "go part of the way through the intersection and then stop at the most confusing and dangerous spot you can find" (see blue x). The red lights that appear to be for the traffic that is going straight applies to you as well. Only complete your left turn if there is a sign telling you to do so.  Don't be fooled by the other cars that don't know this rule. Stop anyway, even if you are the only one to stop. Ignore the honking and foul language that are sure to emit from passing cars. If you do not do this and decide to continue through the light, a policeman will single you out and ticket you.

And above all, remember that Michigan is a no-fault state.